11.12.2008

EXPERIMENT REPORT (see previous post)

PLEASE BE ADVISED, THE FOLLOWING REPORT CONTAINS IMAGES THAT MAY BE DISTURBING TO THE SQUEEMISH!! I promised that I would let you know how my whole "Fake it 'til you make it" experiment went......well, let me tell you, it has been one hell of a week (sorry for that). The first part of the week went fairly good. I made a conscious effort to stop and smile whenever something frustrating happened, and I have to admit that it did help me to have a more positive outlook, then mid-week came around and I realized that Tyler would be giving his mission report on Sunday and as usual I let that sort of stuff stress me out way too much and I sort of forgot to smile, but then my dear friend Janae helped me put together a few things and I felt much better, and she definitely puts a smile on my face....I love my friends. I was doing pretty good with preparing the desserts ahead of time and figured that I would save Saturday for cleaning. I had it all figured out.......and it was all going to come together beautifully. Saturday came and I got up early and started my day......I was on a roll and the light at the end of the tunnel was getting closer and closer until......I get a phone call from Mooch that went something like this:

Me: hello (smiling)!

Mooch: Kelli? I've had a little accident at work.

Me: that's nice honey (smiling)....can you get me some (can't remember what) on your way home?

Mooch: well I would but I'm on my way to the quick care.

Me: what (smiling)?

Mooch: I cut my hand up pretty bad, so Ron is taking me to quick care.

Me: (smiling) just how bad is it?

Mooch: pretty bad, I may have lost some fingers.

Me: (still smiling) ok...call me when you know more..bye...click.

OK...STOP....AND....SMILE...... I do, from ear to ear but clenching my teeth at the same time......he will do anything to get out of helping me (still smiling)!! My next phone call is to Ron:

Me: Ron, it's me, don't let Mooch know I'm on the phone.

Ron: (laughing) ok...what's up?

Me: Is it really that bad?

Ron: I don't know, we'll know more when we get to the doctor.

Me: Well he tends to over exaggerate things a bit so I just wanted to hear from you.

Ron: I'll call you after we get to the quick care....bye....click.

My next phone call comes about 15 minutes later....it's Mooch:

Mooch: They wouldn't take me at the quick care.

Me: Why, were they too busy?

Mooch: No, they said my injury was too bad and I would need to go to an emergency room so we are headed there now.

Me: (certain that he really didn't go to a quick care and just made that last part up) Ok.....is it really that bad? Are you like, bleeding really bad?

Mooch: I don't know, I have it wrapped in a towel and I'm too afraid to look at it, but yea, it is bleeding pretty bad, the blood is running down my arm. I'll call you when I get to the hospital....bye....click.

I'm still smiling at this point but it is more like a smirk now because I'm thinking to myself he is such a baby, he gets a scratch and thinks he's going to need stitches. I keep cleaning, but as I'm cleaning I start having this little battle in my mind, you know the one where you have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other:

Angel: Am I being a bad wife because I'm not rushing down there to be with him?

Devil: Nooooo...he's got Ron, he'll be ok.

Angel: If you were hurt, you'd want Mooch there with you.

Devil: Yea, but he's probably not hurt that bad.

Angel: But what if he is and you don't go, you will feel terrible.

Devil: I know, but I have so much cleaning to do....how could he do this to me?

Angel: Kelli!....GO.TO.THE.HOSPITAL....NOW!

I go to the hospital. The doctor is just finishing with the stitches. More than seventy-five...their not sure...they quit counting after fifty. No fingers were lost (but three days later he has surgery to repair a tendon). He (Mooch) is filthy, with blood all over his clothes. I'm feeling like a schmuck. I take him home. He's in tremendous pain. He needs a shower. How does he do this by himself? I have to shower him........WHO DO YOU THINK IS SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR NOW? I wonder if his smile is tricking his brain into thinking that his hand doesn't hurt.....hmmmm? 

Experiment conclusion:  I think my smiles needed to be a little more genuine and a little less critical but I don't want to continue with the experiment because I'm afraid of what the next week will bring.

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