Me: hello (smiling)!
Mooch: Kelli? I've had a little accident at work.
Me: that's nice honey (smiling)....can you get me some (can't remember what) on your way home?
Mooch: well I would but I'm on my way to the quick care.
Me: what (smiling)?
Mooch: I cut my hand up pretty bad, so Ron is taking me to quick care.
Me: (smiling) just how bad is it?
Mooch: pretty bad, I may have lost some fingers.
Me: (still smiling) ok...call me when you know more..bye...click.
OK...STOP....AND....SMILE...... I do, from ear to ear but clenching my teeth at the same time......he will do anything to get out of helping me (still smiling)!! My next phone call is to Ron:
Me: Ron, it's me, don't let Mooch know I'm on the phone.
Ron: (laughing) ok...what's up?
Me: Is it really that bad?
Ron: I don't know, we'll know more when we get to the doctor.
Me: Well he tends to over exaggerate things a bit so I just wanted to hear from you.
Ron: I'll call you after we get to the quick care....bye....click.
My next phone call comes about 15 minutes later....it's Mooch:
Mooch: They wouldn't take me at the quick care.
Me: Why, were they too busy?
Mooch: No, they said my injury was too bad and I would need to go to an emergency room so we are headed there now.
Me: (certain that he really didn't go to a quick care and just made that last part up) Ok.....is it really that bad? Are you like, bleeding really bad?
Mooch: I don't know, I have it wrapped in a towel and I'm too afraid to look at it, but yea, it is bleeding pretty bad, the blood is running down my arm. I'll call you when I get to the hospital....bye....click.
I'm still smiling at this point but it is more like a smirk now because I'm thinking to myself he is such a baby, he gets a scratch and thinks he's going to need stitches. I keep cleaning, but as I'm cleaning I start having this little battle in my mind, you know the one where you have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other:
Angel: Am I being a bad wife because I'm not rushing down there to be with him?
Devil: Nooooo...he's got Ron, he'll be ok.
Angel: If you were hurt, you'd want Mooch there with you.
Devil: Yea, but he's probably not hurt that bad.
Angel: But what if he is and you don't go, you will feel terrible.
Devil: I know, but I have so much cleaning to do....how could he do this to me?
Angel: Kelli!....GO.TO.THE.HOSPITAL....NOW!
I go to the hospital. The doctor is just finishing with the stitches. More than seventy-five...their not sure...they quit counting after fifty. No fingers were lost (but three days later he has surgery to repair a tendon). He (Mooch) is filthy, with blood all over his clothes. I'm feeling like a schmuck. I take him home. He's in tremendous pain. He needs a shower. How does he do this by himself? I have to shower him........WHO DO YOU THINK IS SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR NOW? I wonder if his smile is tricking his brain into thinking that his hand doesn't hurt.....hmmmm?
Experiment conclusion: I think my smiles needed to be a little more genuine and a little less critical but I don't want to continue with the experiment because I'm afraid of what the next week will bring.